Chasing Contentment


Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.
Phillipians 4:11



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Monday, July 12

I know that my job as a mother is to successfully work myself out of a job, to rear my children so that one day they won't need me any longer. I want them to become strong, independent, compassionate Christian individuals who live full and productive lives. But oh, the pains that go along with that rearing are so heartwrenching!

My little Griff, whom I adore in new ways all the time despite his annoying six-year-old tendencies, is such a perfect blend of his daddy and me that it hinders him at times. Again, the very sensitivity that will make him an amazing man make it difficult to be six. He's going to be like my brother, I think, full of introspection and tenderness, loyal like John and me both. Once he finds the friend who 'gets' him, they'll be friends forever. But until then, he's a little lost, floundering for a kid to relate.

I am endlessly grateful that Griff still sees Mike as his best friend. May that be his logic for years to come! He could not pick a better friend! But it rips my heart in two to see him wishing for a friend, trying for a friend, and coming up empty. Thankfully, he's got enough of his daddy in him to not wonder if it has something to do with his own personality.

As I feel this weight in my heart, this hurt for this little boy of mine, I wonder how God can possibly withstand the pain of watching each of His children hurt. We all hurt at one time or another. How can He possibly stand under the weight of it all? I am reminded over and again of how He loves us, how He chooses to let us come to Him again and again. May I treat my children in the same manner. May I never cease to be grateful for my tender treatment at the hands of the Father.

[  posted by Chel on Monday, July 12, 2004  ]
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