Chasing Contentment

Tuesday, May 3

I cannot remember not loving Mike. I can remember not knowing him, but I cannot recall a time when I did not love him. It is as if my life is divided into two distinct portions - the time before I met him, and the time in which I have loved him. He is an annoying know-it-all who drives me batty and who also happens to be the best man I've ever met, much less had the priviledge to love.

He and I have long known and accepted and appreciated our differences (most of them, at least). He is the head and I am the heart of our family. We work well that way. I'm strong-willed, and he's compliant (unless he gets really worked up, which he does on occasion). I'm outgoing, and he's the one at the party by the food table speaking if talked to, but not making any effort of his own (other than with the dip). I'm impulsive in a controlling, anal-retentive sort of way, and Mike's very much a comparison shopper kind of guy. We work well together.

Relationships fascinate me. I watch other couples together to see how they interact, to see what works for them and what doesn't. I know people who believe that there is one relationship (marital) mold, and all couples should fit into it, following a prescribed set of rules about how husbands and wives should interact and bring together their lives. I don't believe that to be true.

The things that work for my parents would never work for us. Our personalities don't mesh the way theirs do. There are good, solid relationships all around us (thank the Lord for that!), and I am inspired by aspects of each of their marriages, but we could never mimic their inner workings and have them work for us. I watch people and take what I can that is good and strong and workable for us and try to incorporate those things into our lives, but I am also confident in the theory that we do not have to be anything other than what we are.

I love that Gavin DeGraw song about that... "I don't want to be anything other than who I've been trying to be lately." I want our relationship to be that way. I want us to be growing and changing and bettering ourselves, and I want our marriage to be fluid that way, to be accepting of who we are at any given moment.

God was gracious to put me with Mike, someone I never would have chosen for myself but who I need emotionally like my body needs air. God knows what each of us need far better than we ourselves could ever imagine. I heard once this illustration about marriage in a study by Kay Arthur. Each marriage is a triangle in which God is the top point and the husband and wife are the bottom two points. As each individual grows closer to Christ, by nature, they grow closer to one another. I love that. If God is at the top of our marriage and we keep seeking Him, then we are bound to come together.

[  posted by Chel on Tuesday, May 03, 2005  ]


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