Chasing Contentment

Monday, May 16

My heart is heavy this morning. I've had this saddness this weekend that has been hard to shake. Saturday would have been my grandfather's 81st birthday. I lived for 33 years with four grandparents, and within 18 months, I lost two of them. It's been a sad journey for me to lose them and to adjust to the idea of my children not knowing them.

I've also spent a lot of time this weekend thinking about doing the right thing and about how difficult that can be. I'm reminded that God didn't promise us as Christians an easy road to travel. Doing the right thing seems to rarely result in something positive. So many people in power - whether on a national or regional or local scale - seem to lack a commitment to doing the right thing. So many people in power seem to have a general willingness to do the ugly, unconcsiounable thing. I have this theory that it is that very willingness that propels people like that upward through the ranks until they attain positions of power. And those committed to doing right are left working for less, attaining less.

I wonder how I'm supposed to teach my children that they can dream big and that they can be anything they want to be if I don't believe that. Mike says he would rather them have their dignity and integrity than success, and I agree with him. I just hate it that it seems that they can't have both. I need examples of people doing the right thing and being rewarded for it. I need reminders of people who act according to their moral guide and who are touching the lives of people around them in a positive way.

Today, a friend faces something very difficult, and my heart breaks for her. I want to offer to walk alongside her, and yet, as Mike pointed out, I cannot. If I did, it would cost me something I cannot afford to lose. But something inside me breaks at the idea that I am choosing something selfish (in my opinion) over what I think is doing the right thing. Shouldn't I be willing to sacrifice myself for the good of someone else? I am torn and hearbroken over this.

I am discouraged and disappointed.

[  posted by Chel on Monday, May 16, 2005  ]
[   1 comments  ]


1 Comments:

Ian. A guy on Survivor, did a noble and right thing. Check it out. Westman won survivor and Gallagher was the one taken to the final two. Rosenburger was the one who made it happen by giving up. The person who received very little thanks from Westman or Gallagher during the reunion show was their alliance partner from the very beginning of the game, dolphin trainer Ian Rosenberger. In what will be considered either the stupidest move of all time on 'Survivor' or the most endearing, at eleven hours into the final Immunity Challenge, Rosenberger agreed to forfeit the challenge if Westman promised to take Gallagher to the finals instead of him. Guilty about the lies he told to both Gallagher and Westman, Rosenberger claimed to know no other way of regaining their friendship and proving to Westman and Gallagher that they were more important to him than the money and the game. Westman accepted Rosenberger's offer. At an impromptu Tribal Council at the site of the final Immunity Challenge, Westman cast his vote against Rosenberger eliminating him from contention.

By Blogger The Pastor, at 9:48 AM  

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