Chasing Contentment

Wednesday, June 22

First, my latest confession. I am now completely addicted to Hot Tamales - the little red, chewy cinnamon candy from Mike & Ike - and I can't seem to make it through a workday without them. Linda and I can now eat a box a day. We think we've got a problem, and we're talking about working on cutting down. But they were on sale last night at the store, so we've now both got boxes for the rest of the week. With all of this sugar, it's a good thing I cancelled my dental appointment.

We were outside playing last night while Mike got the grill ready for dinner, and Eliza was sliding on the swingset. My two-foot-tall baby climbed up the four-foot-tall ladder, walked across the wide platform, and went down the slide all by herself - several times.

There is just no fear in that little body of hers. And while it's driving us crazy, I think I might be well served to take a lesson from her. She's comfortable with us, with her surroundings, and is confident in her safety (for which I am thankful), and so she's sure she can do whatever she wants. I remember having so much more assurance and confidence in some areas of my life when I was younger (I have far more areas now, thankfully, but they don't always overlap). Being a grown-up doesn't so much suck the assurance out of us as it forces fears into us.

Before we had kids, I never thought about how this or that could happen, and now, I'm all about the horrors that might befall a child. My friend, Mandy, is the crime reporter for our local newspaper, and she sees things that I don't want to even acknowledge happen here in our little hometown. But they do happen. And I have to teach my children how to respond when bad things happen. And I have to be prepared.

But Eliza's teaching me that I also have to trust in my Father who has my good at heart, and I have to be confident and assured in Him and in my safety in Him. And maybe that means taking tiny little baby steps toward things that intrigue me without worrying that my own abilities might fall short. They might not. But if they do, Eliza's also teaching me to dust off the front of my dress and try it again.

[  posted by Chel on Wednesday, June 22, 2005  ]
[   1 comments  ]


1 Comments:

That crazy, no-holds-barred ball of fire that weighs less than a bag of fertilizer. Who wouldn't love that. And good for you for taking a cue.

By Anonymous Mike, at 9:21 AM  

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