Chasing Contentment


Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.
Phillipians 4:11



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Tuesday, June 28

This is my summer of grace. I am enjoying this summer more than any in recent memory, mostly because Mike's at home this summer instead of away working on his doctorate. It's the first summer since Griff was a baby that Mike's been home all summer, and we're all clearly delighting in his presence (though most days he still drives me a little batty).

And I know that God is giving me this summer full of fun trips and visits with family and friends to cushion me as He works on my spirit. And that is why I know this is my summer of grace. His grace provides both the cushion to comfort me and the discomfort of the work He's doing in me. And I am thankful for both.

I started my summer reading an easy book on grace, and I'm going to move on through the summer to more difficult books on the same topic. I'm researching scriptures that talk about grace. But mostly, I'm trying to be aware that I live in grace daily.

In general, I'm all confused, and God's grace makes that okay, I think. I've been a Christian for the majority of my life, and I was reared in a Christian home, by God's blessing. But there seem to be two trains of thought these days in the Christian thinking around me, and I end up confused. I admit it.

I've mentioned before that I'm pretty much a rules girl rather than a free thinker (which frustrates my free thinking husband to no end!). I was reared with rules, and I still do best in life with organization and routines. But now that I'm older, I have ideas that no longer mesh with the simplicity of some of my old rules. And thus, I'm forced to do some thinking on my own (which is really the point, isn't it, of growth?).

I told Mike last night that I'm not sure how to think through these things myself, but I also don't want anyone else telling me what to think. I am caught between two worlds, uncomfortable in both. And yet, I am encouraged by my own discomfort.

God must be working with me for me to be experiencing such unease. I know that in my searching and struggling (and much of this really is a struggle for me), I will eventually come to what He has to teach me. And I want that. I want the growth that draws me closer to Him.

And so, I am so grateful for His grace that comforts me as I learn and grow. A summer of grace. What a beautiful thought! Way better than the summers of dissertation.

[  posted by Chel on Tuesday, June 28, 2005  ]
[   4 comments  ]

4 Comments:

What so amazing about Grace by Philip Yancey

By Blogger Bro. Craig, at 10:18 PM  

That's the next one on my list, followed by a book by John Piper.

By Blogger Chel, at 6:42 AM  

It's eerie how much I identify with your thoughts. Thanks for sharing, Michele. I feel reassured when I read your insight.

By Blogger Jana, at 7:27 AM  

Thanks, Jana. Maybe if women get together to encourage one another, we'll be able to find what's right for each of us rather than struggling to figure out what some people say is right for all of us.

By Blogger Chel, at 10:38 AM  

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