Chasing Contentment

Wednesday, September 21

In the list of my difficult days this fall, yesterday will be a bit of a mile-marker. I had to do something yesterday that redefines me - in a way - at least to myself. And while I did nothing improper or unethical, it just felt uncomfortable. And ever since, I've felt a little like an exposed nerve - all tender and fragile and vulnerable. I cry easily. My soul aches.

I have officially hit my emotional wall in this situation, and I have that feeling of not knowing how to proceed, all the while continuing to put one foot in front of the other. Unfortunately, this is a feeling I've had before... this time last fall, in fact.

Now, I feel broken, spent, with my spirit lying in pieces on the floor. I know from experience, though, that God is the fluid that will come in and fill in the gaps between the cracked pieces of myself, and I know that He is the glue that will keep everything together. I know that the places where He mends my heart will be stronger than they were before.

And I am humbled and ceaselessly grateful for His unending willingness to mold me into who He wants me to be. And I am thankful that He is - as always - sending people to me daily to renew and refresh and encourage me.

[  posted by Chel on Wednesday, September 21, 2005  ]


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