Chasing Contentment


Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.
Phillipians 4:11



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Wednesday, March 29

I once had a conversation with a friend about how God speaks to us these days. My friend suggested that God speaks only through the Scriptures. At the time, I wasn't reading my Bible very much at all and yet I was sure that I had at times felt God's leading strongly enough to say that He had spoken to me, to my life. I argued that if God were only able to speak to me through the Bible, then I was out of luck. I also argued that assuming God could only do this or that was limiting God.

I wrote earlier this week about my seemingly endless struggle with my self-image and my new-found determination to overcome that. This time, I did feel God speaking to me through the Scriptures as I was reading 1 Samuel, in the verse that says God sees our hearts, regardless of what men see.

The last couple of days I've felt God nudging me through things I've read in other places, reaffirming what I already feel to be true.

Catez wrote a lovely post about beauty that is a reminder that God sees our hearts, and Sallie wrote about cultivating contentment, which is obviously one of my favorite notions or endeavors.

I believe strongly in looking at a person's who rather than his or her what, and I believe that setting our priorities and following them are important things in life. And I believe that I work to do those things in my life.

Of course, that is just a reminder that Mike's right (I hate it when that happens). I have one standard with which I evaluate other people and another, completely different, far harsher standard by which I judge myself.

I appreciate God sending me little nudges to remind me that I need to be actively working on this self-acceptance issue of mine. I read another blog entry today that reminded me that since Eliza's birth, I have been especially grateful for my life, and I have been working to use this life for God's purposes because I fully believe He's the one who enabled my doctor to save my life. And I believe if He gave me longer in this life, I should use it well.

I suppose it could be argued (most likely by Mike and LeeAnn) that one of the best ways for me to use this life well would be to accept it for what it is and to love and accept this body the way others do. I'm working toward that.

[  posted by Chel on Wednesday, March 29, 2006  ]
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