Chasing Contentment

Monday, March 20

I wrote briefly the other day about the hum of my life, the sounds that feel like home to me, that give me a sense of calm. I think we all have those sounds that are particular to our own environments, that comfort us but might disconcert others. It is those rhythms of life that give us all a sense of home.

Once the kids were in bed tonight, Mike went back to the office to put the finishing touches on his dissertation before mailing the final copy tomorrow. The antibiotics my doctor put me on last week have made me so tired, and that, combined with all that is going on with us, has left me worn out. I had thought of watching a movie tonight or doing some beading or reading a book.

Instead, I sat on the sofa in the dark for a while with an Eliza who didn't want to go to bed. And I flipped through a bead magazine when she finally fell into slumber, and I'm watching a little mindless television now... on mute (a habit of mine, friends would say). And I've listened to the sounds around me. I will get used to new sounds and new rhythms in our new home, but I don't want to forget these.

Bernie (our aging Boston Terrier) is asleep on the sofa behind me, snoring gently. I heard someone come home a bit ago at the house across the street, and I wonder why Cody hasn't been riding his skateboard lately. The cat who lives under the house with the armadillo (unusual roommates, to be sure) was meowing loudly earlier but seems to have gone out for the night.

And then, there is silence. Nothing but the hum of the laptop and the clicking of the keys. And that's all there is.

And that is enough. In these walls, I am surrounded by love. I've so wanted for someone I know to buy our house because I wanted that love to exist in this place forever. And I realize now that we infused this house with love. It is our heartbeat that I feel in the silence here.

I keep telling Griff that we'll all be okay because we'll be together. God will lead us and keep us and that is all we need. And he buys into it completely. Turns out, despite the sadness and worry and uncertainty and all, I do, too.

[  posted by Chel on Monday, March 20, 2006  ]


Your writings about your home make me remember the comfort I felt there, and I'll always be thankful for that.

By Blogger crisper, at 2:07 PM  

I really enjoyed this post, Chel. Lovely thoughts and poetic writing.

By Blogger Jana, at 1:19 AM  

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