Chasing Contentment

Tuesday, April 11

More Time
I turned 36 last Saturday. That puts me in a new age category on surveys, which freaked me out when I turned 25 and moved to the next box. This time, though, it doesn't really bother me at all.

I tease about being old and feeling old and remembering things my friends don't (in the van this weekend we discovered that I was a junior in high school, driving and dating when Mandy was 9 and in elementary school!) and such. But I don't so much mind getting older. I like myself so much better now than I did when I was younger, despite my body image issues. I like ME better now, and that's a really great thing.

As I've thought about this last birthday, I've thought about the women I've known who owned their age, who embraced it and who loved it.

When Mike and I were first married, we were priviledged to have been taken in, as it were, by a young family here in town. They had four small children, and they just enveloped us and loved us. They gave us a glimpse of a really good marriage and family life. She was in her mid-30s at the time, driving the mini-van, not skinny, all the mama stuff. But she was fabulous, and her husband clearly adored her.

I worked with an arts reporter at the local newspaper for several years, and she was in her 60s and amazing. I just couldn't get enough of her. She was brash and bold and had this amazing flair for both life and her work. She just radiated energy.

My Gran, my late maternal grandmother, had thinning silver hair for as long as I can remember (a trait I admit I'm hoping skips me... the thinning... I'm taking care of the silver with a good colorist already). She was thin (I get my body shape from the other side of the family) but strong, and she was funny and kind. She always wore a certain shade of lipstick and believed in wearing the good jewelry instead of saving it for a special occasion. She was comfortable in her own skin.

As I work to correct the flaws in my body image and strive to focus more on the things I like about myself, I know that I want to be one of those women who is comfortable in her own being. I want to love the fluffiness around my tummy that two kids (and a ice cream jones) gave me, and I want to flaunt the saucy sense of humor that Mike loves so much, and I want to own the years that have given God the time to mold me into who I am today.

The way I see it right now, the more years I add to my 36 number, the more time God has to perfect what He began in me.

[  posted by Chel on Tuesday, April 11, 2006  ]


Other than dating a younger man (babies could become an issue) I'm not afraid of the years, but I do want them to be "friendly" years and not my enemy.


By Blogger Ellen, at 7:00 AM  

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