Sunday, August 20
Here in sunny Florida, I find that most of my reading this summer has been done while doing something else. I've finished more than one book while riding in the van on the way to or from Chuck and Stacy's house. I'm reading while I walk on the treadmill in the garage. I'm reading while I sit in line waiting to pick Griff up in the afternoons. It's been an odd reminder that if I look, I can find the time to do the things I enjoy. I know that some of these things will change when I begin working fulltime again in another week or so, but the lesson will hopefully stay with me.On the treadmill these days, I'm reading "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow and loaned to me by Aleece. I found these wonderful quotes this morning and wanted to remember them.
"I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God's thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking." George MacDonald
"I say I found peace. I do not say I was not lonely. I was - terribly. I do not say that I did not grieve. I did - most sorely. But peace of the sort the world cannot give comes, not by the removal of suffering, but in another way - through acceptance." Elizabeth Elliott
There have been times recently when I was writing an email or talking to a friend on the phone and when I was telling about my loneliness and yet, I also talked of how certain I am that we're where God wants us right now. It sounds like a contradiction. But it isn't... not in my heart.
I think it's perfectly okay to miss those friends that I've left states away, and I think that fits just fine with my acceptance of this new place, this new period in our lives. I am lonely. I am content. I am comfortable with both feelings existing in the same moment.
There are times when I am amazed at how blue the sky is here, when I stand in awe. And they are often immediately followed by moments of sadness that I don't have any girlfriends here to share my moments. But I think that's okay.
I had a friend in college who said to me once that I was the only girl he'd ever met who could laugh while crying. And yet, it seems perfectly natural to me. I can't imagine any one emotion existing entirely on its own. All of them roll together to create me... just the way God intended.
And so for today, I'm grateful for contentment and for peace and for learning opportunities, even if they mean sorrow and loneliness for a time.
[ posted by Chel on Sunday, August 20, 2006 ]
[ 3 comments ]
3 Comments:
I love reading on the treadmill! I love having deep, seemingly contradictory emotions all at the same time! And I love the weather here and I wish that my family in Ohio was here to enjoy it with me!
I'm glad it's not just me :)
P.S. Thank you for your encouragement. I know that God will put me where He needs/wants me. I just thought I'd be doing something different. And I'm wondering how all of this fits together toward my ultimate goals, dreams, and desires.
I have NO idea how this new job fits into my idea of my ultimate goals, dreams, and desires, but I have figured out - thankfully - that so very often my goals and dreams aren't the ones God has for me and that my desires aren't on His timeframe.
At this point, I figure the best I can do is just roll with it. I'm working on doing my very best with each day that I'm given and not worrying too much about tomorrow. And that's a big deal for a known worrier like me! :)
Kat and Chel...may God comfort you both as you walk through those "lonely" days....or those days where you want to share your joys and "new" journey with those loved ones that you had to leave behind...and know that we are wishing that we were there to celebrate them along with you too!
Praying for grace as you both start your new jobs too!
Blessings!