Chasing Contentment

Tuesday, September 12

Moments in Time
My last six months - year, several years - have been full of nothing but change. I am all new and old, beginning and ending. I am all muddled and unsettled. I am all discombobulated.

I've had the loss of life and the blessing of new life in my circle of love. Mike and I have left old jobs and begun new jobs. I walked out of the home I loved and into a new house. I left the place where I had built a life to the place where I would build a new life.

I'm not comfortable here yet, in this new beginning. I still feel very much like this isn't my life yet. But I can see God's hand in this new life... in my life.

My heart longs for companionship, for the friendships I miss so much and for the ones I pray I'll make here. And I know my God knows my heart. Just as He led us away from the face-to-face to relationships I loved, He has provided me with unexpected renewed relationships.

Years ago, a college friend and I had a falling out of sorts, due mostly to bad timing. We each faced a crisis in our lives at the same time, and we simply weren't able to support one another at that time. And yet, thanks to God showing me things in this new life and encouraging me to contact her and apologize, I've had a reconciliation with her since our move. She and her husband both have emailed and encouraged me and checked in with me to see how we're doing, and I am grateful.

Another friend from long ago recently responded to an email I sent her months ago, and we have renewed our friendship. It has been open and comfortable, like I remember our interactions from before. And I am humbled and gratful.

And while the emails and phone calls don't take away the ache in my heart, they do ease it some. They do dry the tears some days. And these people do remind me that God is in control, that He knows my path and my future. He knew these fractured relationships would be repaired at just the moment that I would need the love and support.

I tell myself every day that this new beginning is just a continuation of the journey God has for me and that if I'll keep moving my eyes toward Him (though my vision may be all teary-blurry), I'll be okay. Beyond okay! I'll be contented and loved.

[  posted by Chel on Tuesday, September 12, 2006  ]


Oh, I so feel for you during this transition time. Been there myself many times, mostly as a kid moving around with my missionary parents. May God give you hope each day at this new step in your journey.

By Blogger twiga92, at 4:04 AM  

'God's ways are higher than our ways
His thoughts far wiser than ours
He speaks to us through His word the Bible
And tells us to trust in Him

God knows the past and the future
He sees the thoughts in our hearts
We cannot hide from the God who made us
And so we must trust in Him'

Words written by Sue Payne for the children's club at our church. But childlike thoughts are sometimes the best in times of difficulty because a child is so much more able to hope and believe than we adults seem to be :) Keep on going. It is hard (I know :)) It does get easier.

By Blogger Susanna, at 5:36 AM  

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