Chasing Contentment

Tuesday, August 28

Today is my one-year anniversary at my new job. I honestly didn't think I'd make it this far, both in terms of I thought it would be a temporary job while I looked for something in my field and in terms of I really thought they might fire me for not being good enough.

Two of my section members were in the break room with me at one point today, when one of them said that this was her dream job. I found that highly confusing as I cannot imagine anyone dreaming of being an insurance claims adjuster (she said she wanted to be a cop but her father - a cop - said women shouldn't be cops - this was 30 years ago - so she should find something else that would be investigative, so she went into claims.).

I then told the two of them that today was my Failure Day (as in failure to get a job in my field).

Last week, when Griff was worried about going to fourth grade, I went in to talk to him. And I began by saying, "You know, Griff, you're a lot like me in a lot of ways." And I was going to continue by saying that we tend to worry about things so much that the anticipation is most always worse than the actual event.

But he finished my statement with, "because we see the negatives and not the positives." Well. Wasn't that a lovely little kid reality check? He's right, of course. I'm a Negative Nellie. But I'm working to get better.

So, on the occasion of my Failure Day, here are the positives...
* I tried something completely new to me.
* I kept at it.
* I am, at this point, at least marginally good at the job, and I have continued to improve every month.
* I've met some very interesting people, and I've made at least one friend. Ok, I'm friendly with lots of people, and I've made one friend.
* I am open about my Christianity. I swear, that is the only reason I can fathom why God would put me in this job and not give me any other opportunities. I'm certainly in the minority, and I am not sure at all whether my witness is good or bad, but I'm trying.
* I now know a myraid of ways you can die in a car crash, which has made me a better driver and a wretched passenger.
* I can read a medical bill from the hospital and know when to call and protest a charge... handy in my home life as well.
* I have good health insurance thanks to this job that doesn't quit suit me yet.
* I am more confident about my abilities to try something new now.
* I have experienced such a lack of creativity in my job that I have attempted new creative hobbies that I wouldn't have considered in the past.
* I am in a position where people can confide in me (and they do, for whatever reason... but I'll write more about that another time).
* I didn't quit. I may have mentioned this one before, but it bears repeating. When quitting would have felt immeasurably better for me, I didn't. I kept going in to work (crying many days on the way and at work) because the salary I bring home is important to our family. I didn't quit.

Yay, me.

[  posted by Chel on Tuesday, August 28, 2007  ]


YAY, You!!! You deserve it! It says a lot about who you are when you did not quit even though it would have been easier!

By Anonymous Lee Ann, at 6:11 PM  

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