Chasing Contentment

Wednesday, January 16

It's been a week. I've had such a hard time, feeling discouraged and unsure. I've been sad and cranky.

When we left the conference at Griff's school last week, we were so encouraged. Yesterday, we got an email telling us that the assistance we were promised for Griff wouldn't be coming along. Apparently, he doesn't qualify because he's been labeled as 'gifted.' Lovely.

His teachers told us that without the assistance, they don't expect him to be able to pass the FCAT this year. Now, thankfully, this year, he doesn't have to pass the FCAT in order to pass the fourth grade. But Griff puts a lot of his self-worth in his intellect and grades, and we're really concerned that if he fails the FCAT, it's going to be a real blow to his self-image.

So, add the Griff saga to the fact that my supervisor keeps implying that I may not have a job in another month or so unless I shape up, and you get a tired, stressed Chel. (Now, one of the really amazing things about this is that so very many of my co-workers have really rallied around me, to tell me that they don't believe this situation is warranted... to assure me they'll help me through this... just to be encouraging.)

The other day, one of my co-workers commented on how positive I always am, and I told her that I believe that there's a God who is planning my life and that I believe that He's working for my good regardless of whether or not I can see His plan. And that really is true, even when I'm having a tired, discouraged week like this.

Then, today, my desk partner said something about taking her daughter to see "Annie," and I said that I hated "Annie." When she asked why, I told her Annie was perky & that I don't like perky people. She just grinned as she asked, "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

Me, perky? No way. I don't like perky people. So she did a poll of the people in our section and the section next to us (on the agreement that if people said I was perky, I'd buy her a caffeine-free Diet Coke), and they ALL agreed I was perky. When I disagreed, this voice from over the cubicle wall yelled, "yes, you are!" And now, I don't even know the woman that voice belonged to.

I told my desk partner that people couldn't think I was perky ... I've been tired and discouraged and cranky this week. She said, yeah, but that's just work stuff. You're still perky, even this week.

In my world, in my head, this has been a really lousy week. Really lousy. But the people around me... thankfully, see God in me. It has to be His light. Because I'm just completely sure that it isn't me.

(But I'm not perky.)

[  posted by Chel on Wednesday, January 16, 2008  ]


You aren't Annie, but you ARE perky.

By Blogger The, at 7:41 PM  

I think your definition of perky and your co-workers are different. You define perky as someone who always is all "Up with people." They perceive perky as someone who is still nice to co-workers and customers, still concerned about their lives, even when your having a sucky week and nothing seems to be going right. And that is the much preferred perky, and by that definition, you're as perky as they come.

From the one who knows you best

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:21 PM  

I'm sorry you had such a crappy week. :( And it is okay to not be happy all the time. But that doesn't mean you aren't perky.

By Blogger Alexis Jacobs, at 8:17 PM  

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