Chasing Contentment

Thursday, April 13

Between the lack of sleep from Eliza being sick to the darned ligustrum blooming to the stress of the trip, I'm worn out. And we haven't even left town yet. Sometimes, I think that Fate (Satan, general Karma, whichever) uses one little thing on top of another on top of another to wear us down and leave us unsteady.

I told Mike this morning that I didn't want to go & he asked "tomorrow or in general?" to which I said, "yes." I've been pretty open with acknowledging that while I believe with all I am that this move is the right thing for us, it is also really difficult emotionally.

On "Scrubs" this week (and if you don't watch, you really should), Carla and Turk discussed names for their expected baby until they realized that naming the baby made the whole experience seem far more real. I feel that way about this trip. I know this is going to happen and all, but if I go down there and look at houses and interview for a job, then it's going to feel really real to me. And while I know that's good, it's sad, too.

There's a lot of bitter-sweet to this move for me. I am content to go through the emotions of it, though, because I am certain it is the right thing. And I know that if it is right for me and Mike, it will be right for the kids. And if it is right for all of us, it will, in the end, be right for those who love us. ('m praying for them and their care and comfort already.)

So, we fly out of New Orleans tomorrow night, and we'll return home on Tuesday, hopefully closer to having a home and a job.

[  posted by Chel on Thursday, April 13, 2006  ]


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