Chasing Contentment

Saturday, July 22

The challenges and sorrows and heartaches of this move are coming to me in stages, proof, I suppose, that God only gives us little bits at a time and that He equips us to deal with each of those little bits.

I'm able to find my way around reasonably well, if only to the spots I want to go, which is enough. I found a salon and had my hair cut this morning, and that always makes me feel good. I'm encouraged about Griff and Eliza's schools and about our ability - all of us - to make new friends.

But now I have to get a job. And that's a really difficult thing right now. It's frustrating and discouraging. I don't doubt for a moment that God will provide the perfect job for me - my prayer for months has been that He give me a job where He can use me to touch the people around me - but it's this waiting and working for it that is wearying.

Part of my discontent is from not being sure of what I'd like my job to be. I worked for 14 years in one setting doing one job and doing it well. There were a few aspects that I loved but several that I no longer want to pursue. But with that much experience with that field and not a lot of experience with any other, I'm feeling pigeonholed at 36.

LeeAnn asked me months and months ago (and then again this weekend) what I would do if money weren't an issue. I wrote about my ideal job earlier this year, and I think my answer is probably still the same. I'd love to bead my way through my workdays. But I've checked the bead shops in town & they're not hiring.

Lisa at Favorite Sister's Thoughts had a post about being invited to your destiny that spoke to me today. I know that I just need to wait for God's invitation, but I admit to being worried about the financial side of things despite the fact that God has worked everything out for this move thus far. It's this human frailty where I want to be certain things will work out... as I write that, it's embarassing to me. I've told Mike over and over in regards to this move, "if you knew everything up front, it wouldn't be faith." And where is my faith? I say I'm sure God will provide, but I'm worried.

And so, I need to take a different perspective on this job search. I need to plug through this temp position that I have and be grateful for any money coming in (meager though it may be) and continue to be open to my invitation from God.

[  posted by Chel on Saturday, July 22, 2006  ]


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