Chasing Contentment

Tuesday, August 22

Musical Background
In general, I'm enjoying my new life here in Florida. I miss people and places, absolutely, but I'm also adjusting and finding things to enjoy and celebrate here. But some days, some mornings, I just wake up feeling sad and freaked out and worried and afraid and sad. I said sad twice... probably because that is the emotion that covers all of the others.

This was one of those mornings. I woke up worried about Eliza, who hasn't been feeling just perfect. I know it's just allergies, but I worry about what we'll do when she gets sick and we're both in new jobs and can't take off work. My dad called last week to tell me (again) that he, too, is worried about that. He doesn't have any solutions, just more concern. And all that does is remind me of my own worries and fears.

In the van taking Griff to school this morning, we were listening to the XM, and "Broken" by Seether and Amy Lee came on. I love that song, have always loved it. I find that I'm drawn to music at any stage of life that meets me where I am at that moment (I guess, in general, that's the goal of music). This song met me where I was this morning.

I know from past experience that God carries me and touches me and speaks to me most when I am truly broken. When I cry out to Him that there is nothing left of me that can carry my heart alone. When I beg of Him to carry me, to comfort me. And while that broken feeling isn't any fun at all, it is the place where I am most aware of God's purpose for my life.

A week or so ago, I was telling Mike that "Move Along" by the All-American Rejects was my new favorite song.
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along
If I had a dollar for every time I've whispered to myself in the last six months, "just keep moving. If you just keep moving it'll be okay," I could pay off a credit card. In so many ways, that really is all I need to do, even though some days it's difficult. If I just keep moving, just keep focusing on today and not tomorrow, God will take care of the rest.

Back last winter, Mike and I were both in a bad situation that was harming us emotionally, mentally, professionally, and ... in some ways, physically. We knew we needed something better, and we were broken. We knew that God was the One who could provide us with a way out, a path to a better life.

The Goo Goo Dolls released "Better Days" around the holidays, and that song spoke to both of us so clearly (and Mike and I don't usually overlap in our musical preferances). At that point, better days was my prayer for us (and for others in our similar situation). Today, when I hear that song, I smile.

I am reminded that even though I feel broken and sad and lonely, there is a hope within us that was dim before. These are those better days. And I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

[  posted by Chel on Tuesday, August 22, 2006  ]


I love how God is able to minister to us through songs!
Thanks for your post

By Blogger Malissa, at 8:11 PM  

Post a Comment